Dear reader,

this is a personal invitation to find yourself.

Since I can remember, I’ve  been the typical girl obsessed with happiness, with love, and with the idea of a happily ever after. Tonight, trying to stay away from the cliche, I’m not going to blame all this on Disney movies or fairy tales. Mass media and Hollywood do play a huge role in our lives and expectations, but I believe they are part of us for a reason; which is to keep us hoping, wondering, and always dreaming. What would we be without that?

I believe that the way I was raised and the family I was born into have a lot do with my obsessions. I always wanted to achieve something similar to what my parents have (they have been married for 30 years,) however,  today I know that life gives us what we need, rather than what we want.

Life is a personal learning process, and the most important part of that is the word “personal.” I say this because we are all different. Our lives lead us to different lessons,  and most importantly, at different times.

When I was 18 I wanted to be that girl, just 4 years ago. I wanted to continue being the girl that believes in fairy tales, I wanted to get married young, like my mom did. I wanted a house and three kids. I wanted a husband like my dad. In other words, I wanted to be my mom.

All of these ideas were permanently in my head, because that was my family, that was what I was seeing over and over again. During breakfast, after school, at every moment. I always tell people, how I admire the way my mom waits for my dad to get home everyday; looking at the window expectantly. How she cooks him dinner with love, and how my dad loves her back with all his heart, even after all these years. I was obsessed and I wanted to live my mom’s life instead of my own. I was about to commit the worst mistake one could commit, and that mistake was quitting my opportunity to know myself.

Lucky me, God and destiny had a different plan. I came to college just to realize that the ideas in my head were not always from myself, from what I like, or from what I truly enjoy. This was because I did not know who I was or what I really liked. Back then I was only forming myself, and I had no idea of who I wanted to become.

Letting go of all this was not easy; it never is! It means getting out of your comfort zone, and putting aside the person you thought you were all your life.

Today, as a senior in college, things have gone in a completely different direction, and it is all worth it. As corny as it sounds, happiness is a state of mind, and achieving that state can only be done by being comfortable with who we are as human beings. I have  discovered so much about me and this is part of my learning process as an individual, and as a woman. It has been the greatest ride of my life, probably the best 3 years of it, and I have to thank God and my inner self for allowing me to finally accept who I really am and who I became.

We have to cry, we have to lose, we have to be broken. We have to do harm, as much as we are going to be harmed as well. We have to know what hate is, as much as we have to meet love. We have to know that sometimes we are not the best person in the room, because only at that moment we’ll be able to find the courage needed to become that person. Make a list, differentiate what you want from what society expects you to want. Do not follow their wishes, follow your heart, even more if you want to find your treasure and your purpose in this world. As “for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”.

MCC